Apologies to Murray Head whose work I’ve just parodied. It’s not you, it’s Ted Cruz’s poodle’s fault.
One night in Cancun makes the cold Man warmer… Ted Cruz Ted Cruz
Cancun, Méxican setting
And the city don’t know that the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the Tea Party world
In a show with everything but Roger Stone
Time flies doesn’t seem a minute
Since the Ritz-Carlton had his daughters in it
All change, don’t you know that when you
Play at this level there’s no ordinary venue
It’s Bermuda or Brazil or the Bahamas or
Or this place!
One night in Cancun and the world’s your dacquis
The bars are temples but the rum ain’t free
You’ll find a Corona in every golden beach bar
And if you’re lucky then the Corona’s free
I can feel a virus sliding up to me
One town’s very like another
When your head’s down over your choices, brother
It’s a drag, it’s a bore, it’s really such a pity
To be looking at Fox news, not looking at the city
Whaddya mean?
Ya seen one gentrified, plastic, enclave town
Chocolate caliente méxicano, warm, and sweet
Some are set up in the Club Med Cancun suite
Go into Quarantine?! You’re talking to a (Canadian-American) tourist
Whose every move’s among the purest
I get my kicks from Proud Boys, sunshine
One night in Cancun makes a lyin’ man humble
Not much between heat and ecstasy
One night in Cancun and the tough guys tumble
Can’t be too careful with your company (You sent our group text to the NY Times?!)
I can feel the devil walking next to me
Quintana Roo’s gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of political fitness
This grips me more than would a
Tikal Pyramid or Mayan Effigy
And thank God I’m only enjoying the heat, climate controlling it
I don’t see you guys’ ratings
The kind of presser I’m contemplating
I’d let you watch, I would invite you
But the twitter posts would not excite you
So you better go back to your freezing bars, your mega church
Your gun ranges
One night in Cancun and the world’s your daiquiri
The bars are temples, but the rum ain’t free
You’ll find a Corona in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel the virus sliding up to me
One night in Cancun makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Cancun and the tough guys tumble
Can’t be too careful with your company
I can feel the virus infesting me Ted Cruz Ted Cruz
Jack O’Kent is a staff writer at Public Intellectuals and the co-host of its podcast, PI Radio
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